Monday, January 19, 2009

Figure it Out

You run your own course at your own pace, but sometimes -- well, most of the time -- it's out of your control to determine your own pace. It's already written.

There are walls and fortresses that are built to make us convince ourselves that we are doing certain things because we choose to, and want to-- not because it's what's left to do. Making peace with the options we are given when we wanted something else - something more - seems to be a recurring situation. I wonder if we were all honest with ourselves, how much of what comes our way would we really think would be our own doing?

I've planned my life in its entirety and it appears that nothing has gone according to schedule. Kanye said it best in Welcome to Heartbreak,
"I chased the good life my whole life long, I look back on my life and my life's gone... where did I go wrong"

Chasing after our dreams, our wants, and our plans doesn't always work out the way we envision. It doesn't always work at all.

I guess you spend your whole life figuring it out?
I think.
I'm not sure.
I'm still trying to figure that out.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


The Memories.
The images.
The history.

My apologies.
My damages.
Your mystery.

This inexplicable feeling.
This pain and love with miraculous healing.
This undeniable connection.
This unfaltering loyalty with no flexion.
This deep bond that held it together.
This strong fire that kept burning forever.

This deep connection that doesn't seem to dissipate.
This deeper love that makes the heart palpitate.

This glue.
This force.
This chemistry.

Only You.
My Source.