Monday, May 4, 2009


in the night i hear them talk...

i hear them scream, i hear them whisper, i hear them.
i hear their thoughts, and their naively malicious intentions trying to bring themselves up by putting others down.  is it really any of their business?

i hear them talk.

the coldest story ever told. 

the tragedy permeates through silence and the pain penetrates deep like adding salt to open wounds. The chilling echo of the tragedy spreads like wildfire and everyone is made aware of this...

coldest story ever told.

Somewhere far along this road, SHE lost her soul to a man so heartless

the essential organ that pumps blood through all the blood vessels in a rhythmic melody was dancing to a demonic tune that removed any ounce of compassion. the integral entity that makes anyone anything was completely replaced by an impostor heart that had no heart.
falling into the lies and easily manipulated by this impostor heart, she relinquished her heart and her soul trusting her misguided intuition. 

somehow, and somewhere along the road she lost her soul to a man so heartless. 

How could you be so cold-- As the winter wind when it breezes?

i've heard that people change more than the seasons, but i ignored it thinking that it's summer year round in california and this can't be true. the unsettling truth punctured deep and left everything feeling ice cold.  it's hard to think about the summer when all you feel is rain.  it's hard to believe it's 80 degrees, when you feel so cold and hollow. 

I mean after all the things that we've been through.  I mean after all the things we got into. Hey yo, I know of some things you ain't told me. And I've done some things but that's the old me. 

I've made changes. I've made sacrifices.  I did everything right, but I did nothing right at all. It felt real.  But then you just walked away and never looked back. We all make mistakes.  I think the biggest mistake I ever made was meeting you. 

How could you be so "Dr. Evil" You're bringing out a side of me that I don't know. 

I never knew the potential of such evil. I'm pretty sure the devil wouldn't recognize you. 
I'm only emotional because I cared. 

But in the end it's still so lonely. 

* italicized text are lyrics from Kanye's Heartless | 808's and Heartbreaks 
Original Photography by Adnan Mahmud

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Te Busque.

At what point did losing myself to find someone else become synonymous?


Lost in the dark, lost in the light.

 Misguided directions and an obscure sight

 Maybe another place and time things would all make sense.  

Or, does it all make sense and my eyes won’t let me see?

 I’ve asked for answers, and prayed for truth. 

 Killed confessions and an eradicated youth.

 Mixed emotions and a tattered heart. 

My very essence decayed over time. 

Over you.

Over me.

Over everything I once believed.

 You witnessed a murder and I let it die.

We’ve both been felons to this homicide.

Photography by Adnan Mahmud


I’m tangled in my own mess, it’s kinda scary.

I’ve created this defense fortress; my heart is wary.

Lost inside my thoughts, it’s not normal.

Lost inside my memories, it’s paranoia.

Falling faster, and sinking slowly.

Save me.

Don’t tell me you care, show me.